A Pep Talk to Myself: Getting stuff off my chest

    I feel for this blog post that I have to get a couple of things off my chest. I just signed a 6 month lease for my apartment so I might be there until the end of February/the beginning of March depending on how my living situation options would open up in the next couple months. I just have to say this because for the last couple years I feel as if I haven’t earned enough to have a place of my own.

   My sister left Columbus last year leaving me on my own again. At around this time last year I felt then I was back at Square One and it did not help with the fact that I was leaving my 20’s and turning 30. 30 was a big deal. Don’t get me wrong I still get a lot of complements from people saying that I don’t look 30 maybe 3-6 years younger than that and that’s great but I felt that looking at myself turning 30 I have accomplished nothing outside of running.

   Around this same time last year I was dealing with an injury to my hip muscle which was something I have never dealt with before. After a couple of ok races I thought in my mind I could tackle the half marathon of the Columbus Marathon Race last year. I was wrong. Physically, but mentally I wasn’t ready for it and I DNF’d. All I wanted to do was drink myself to forget on that day and ignore everyone else. Yet, with a great group of family and friends I was able to bounce back run Club XC Nationals at the end of 2011 and have a really good 2012 so far, ran a 1:10:39 half this past spring, and run some good 5ks.

    Though, this past summer my small group ended with others going their separate ways. It happens, though since with training for the Columbus Marathon I feel that faithfully I have lost a little bit since I got busy. I haven’t gone back to the J-House(20’s and sometimes early 30’s) service since early July. I think it was time for me to move on from that service and I’ve been going to one of the Satellite Campus of Vineyard away from the main church right across from where I live. It is smaller than the main services of the church which is ok with me. However, I feel as if I want to become more involved by finding another small group and who knows I may meet some other good people. I hoping God would also lead me to find a good woman as well. I’m being very patient here but I still want to get more involved which would make me more satisfied internally when I volunteer once in awhile then it would doing my job.

    Also, lately you been hearing this a lot, I have been much unmotivated in my work with the Department of Defense. I feel like Peter from Office Space most days. It’s not terrible but I think I’m smart enough to learn more in another section instead of being stuck in Accounts Payable where it feels like I’ve been dumped crap on some days. I’m one of the youngest people in my section and being surrounded by mostly older people who seem like they have being doing this SHIT here in the Accounts Payable department for quite awhile. I’ve been applying around my building and the base hoping to get out of Accounts Payable department even if I’m getting paid the same as now. It would be something different and I can grow more as a government employee because lately I feel as if I’m just here sometimes.

     I know being a government employee has it benefits yet they do certain things that the private sector does not. Job Security has been one of the benefits I have been very thankful for with the way the economy is right now. I don’t want to screw up what I have. There have been some people in our building and in our section that have been able to Telework from home 1, 2, or sometimes 3 days a week. Myself and 2 other guys one who is hearing impaired don’t have laptops to even be considered now that our group inside of Accounts Payable can telework yet they haven’t now. I’m a little upset because my last supervisor requested a laptop for myself and those other 2 before she left for another position in the building but that was last year around this time. Yet, here I am and I would like to be able to telework even if it is for one day of the week when it’s not my day to balance reports or what not. Save a little bit of gas driving from Westerville to Whitehall.

    I dunno, but I’ve updated my resume to include some of my volunteer work with officiating and road race volunteer plus the fact that I’m an active runner and ran marathons. I hope that will show I do more than show up here and sit on my ass in front of a computer screen. Job frustrations are another reason why I’m strongly getting my certification into being a running coach. Now you tell me I’ve been saying these for almost a year now. Well in my resolution I resolve to become one I’ve taken the online course by USATF which would make me certified to coach Junior High/High School I’m just hoping anybody would know of any area Columbus/Franklin County Schools that need a volunteer or distance coach for next year. This would help a lot. While that I plan on getting my Level 1 this coming winter so that would help. Right now, I’m focused on my goal at Columbus this October. I’ll explain in a future blog post why running this Marathon would mean a lot to me. Don’t want this post to drag on longer.  
 
   I know everybody tells me things can be worse and that I have a job, drinking clean water, food in my belly, a roof over my head, great health, and that I should be thankful and I am. Yet, I know I can make myself do better. The way I've been training shows it. Trying to stick with my New Years' Resolution.
http://dmoneystwocents.blogspot.com/2012/01/new-years-resolution.html

   I know many people that don't. If I can hit a few or get close to all of them I know I am on the right track. It great when you have help sometimes and that's what I need now more than anything for my birthday this year. Encouragement goes a long way along with. My friend Matt gave me one of the best complements given to me. As goofy as he is he can have a strange way of giving you good advice. He says that I perservere. That was very encouraging makes me think of what I have gone through in the past couple of years to get to this point and have those around me influence the way I have gone throughout the years. I'm going to continue on. I know the financial stuff will take care of itself if I get some good advice listen to family and friends and I'll be able to live more comfortable and not feel like I'm living paycheck to paycheck. It would be appreciated if everyone keeps pulling me in the right direction.   

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame  because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us" - Romans 5: 3-5